Most Horrifying Creature In The World Apparently Memorialized In Movie No One Has Ever Heard Of.
For my inaugural Best Week Ever blog, I thought I'd take the time to share one of my deepest, darkest fears with you (because nothing draws in readers like that magical moment when you find out I am secretly a little girl cowering in a corner, stuffing my pizza hole with graham crackers and sobbing uncontrollably).
Perhaps you all have heard of a little minion of the devil known as the "house centipede"? My old roommate taught me its Japanese name, "Geji Geji," and that name more accurately reflects the abject horror that overtakes me at the thought of these despicable little creatures, with their hideous spindly legs. Oh my god, it's on me.
It's hard to type with one hand constantly roving my back and neck to make sure one isn't reading this over my shoulder.
And it is not just his innumerable legs or war-paint-like stripes that make this bug a nightmarish hell demon, but the fact that he moves like a giant spider on coke, racing across walls to escape the Swiffer Sweeper I use to try and squash him while keeping the maximum possible distance between us. Seriously, these things will disappear and then pop up in front of your face like the girl from The Ring.
In the wee hours of the night, as I was quaking with fear at the possibility that one might find it's way into my bed, I wondered why no one had thought to make a horror movie about "the Gej," but upon further research I discovered that such a movie does, in fact, (barely) exist. Centipede! may even take the prize for worst movie ever, based on its whopping Rotten Tomatoes' score of N/A, and the fact that the title is followed by an exclamation point. Either this movie was so god-awful that no one bothered to review it, or the critics all ran screaming from their screenings with a crippling case of the heebie-jeebies.
But seriously, a movie like this could possibly end the drought that has plagued Hollywood since Squirm. Maybe the reason America has lost respect as an international power is our recent dearth of popular movies featuring millions of wriggly vermin crawling on people? Just a thought. Somebody please do the American thing and watch this movie so that I don't have to.
I'm gonna go take a shower now.
Perhaps you all have heard of a little minion of the devil known as the "house centipede"? My old roommate taught me its Japanese name, "Geji Geji," and that name more accurately reflects the abject horror that overtakes me at the thought of these despicable little creatures, with their hideous spindly legs. Oh my god, it's on me.
It's hard to type with one hand constantly roving my back and neck to make sure one isn't reading this over my shoulder.
And it is not just his innumerable legs or war-paint-like stripes that make this bug a nightmarish hell demon, but the fact that he moves like a giant spider on coke, racing across walls to escape the Swiffer Sweeper I use to try and squash him while keeping the maximum possible distance between us. Seriously, these things will disappear and then pop up in front of your face like the girl from The Ring.
In the wee hours of the night, as I was quaking with fear at the possibility that one might find it's way into my bed, I wondered why no one had thought to make a horror movie about "the Gej," but upon further research I discovered that such a movie does, in fact, (barely) exist. Centipede! may even take the prize for worst movie ever, based on its whopping Rotten Tomatoes' score of N/A, and the fact that the title is followed by an exclamation point. Either this movie was so god-awful that no one bothered to review it, or the critics all ran screaming from their screenings with a crippling case of the heebie-jeebies.
But seriously, a movie like this could possibly end the drought that has plagued Hollywood since Squirm. Maybe the reason America has lost respect as an international power is our recent dearth of popular movies featuring millions of wriggly vermin crawling on people? Just a thought. Somebody please do the American thing and watch this movie so that I don't have to.
I'm gonna go take a shower now.
posted by Lucky Bito at
12:03 PM
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